Am I too old to hang?!
A friend of mine, who is currently 29, tagged me on Facebook for a girl’s getaway. It would be a weekend in Utah full of mountain biking, socializing, yoga, rock climbing and just plain good times! Sure, why not? I follow this organization on Instagram and figured I would see what info they had for this particular weekend. I noticed that all the member photos and individuals’ posts were of women in their 20’s, maybe very early 30’s (like, 30-plus-one-month), and all held super fresh faced goodness in their twinkling, wrinkle-free eyes. I’m not bitter, just let me get my point across.
It may be in the eye of the beholder, but what the hell do I have in common with these girls? I will be turning 44 in December and the message I’m receiving is that I have to be of a certain demographic to participate. Otherwise, I will be automatically placed in the role of girl scout troop leader or hall monitor. I thought that it may just be this organization that had really good looking followers, but as I searched my IG account for similar outdoor women’s organizations, the majority followed this same formula. Young and cute = the world is your oyster. If you’re not a millennial, then you need to be following Hiking Octogenarians.
I’m not opposed to businesses using sex as a weapon when it comes to selling their product. I mean, I always look twice when it’s Matthew McConaughey promoting that car, whatever car it is (sometimes advertisers do their job too well). I’m not opposed to millennials, in fact, I feel they have it pretty tough in their upcoming futures. What I’m saying is that this group that promotes women breaking into an outdoor man’s world is segregating people inadvertently.
Here’s a perfect example:
Me: “Is this argument legit or am I imagining this?”
Cute Friend (she’s 29…and resembles Kristen Bell): “I’m not sure all their followers are that way. Maybe just their ambassadors…which still doesn’t leave a great taste in your mouth.”
Me: “OMG, that’s so weird coming from you! I feel you fit their status quo!”
This is an age old survival of the fittest situation… or survival of the sexiest. When I was in high school, there were two girls that were epic on the women’s varsity basketball team. One was more talented than the other, scoring more points and capturing more rebounds. Who do you think got more accolades? The prettier one, of course. She wasn’t as talented but she was more pleasing to the oculars.
One more example and then I’ll move on. There was a post about a woman road cycling intergalactic superstar where a MTB pro athlete shared her last name. In comparison, the road cyclist had achieved more medals than the MTB cyclist. One social media user found the MTB athlete because of the shared surname and then posted how he would now follow the MTB athlete because “she’s cuter than the other one who I thought was her older sister.” Do organizations pick their ambassadors with that little voice in the back of their head saying, “She’s also cute, so we’ll get more followers,”? Would they look over someone who is in their 40’s and sending cruxes regularly to bring on someone in their 20’s that looked great in yoga pants and a sports bra?
Now, coming full circle, I have no doubt I’ll still be accepted at the retreat thanks to my extrovert ways and my natural tendency to make friends should I go to this aforementioned weekend. However, how does that help in my passion to get other women, regardless of age, outside? The laywomen who want to do things but feel intimidated in one form or another? How does this happen when some organizations tout their missions as: to empower and support women, bringing women together through the power of the outdoors, by and for women, and female participation, yet only target a certain demographic. Maybe the owner is a millennial, maybe us older badasses aren’t interested, or maybe you’re saying, “Mo, who really gives a fuck?”
Regardless, I have an opinion. My opinion is of the stance that maybe the founders of these organizations should try harder in incorporating women from all decades in life. Maybe they should feature older rabble-rousers that have gone through hell and now have the devil saying, “Oh, shit! She’s up!!!” Have them be omnipresent on these IG or other social media accounts alongside the Young and the Restless. (I stole that off a mug, by the way, the devil quote.)
No excuses to the cray ramblings of this old woman (only because 44 sounds old)! I would love to hear your opinions on this. Let them resound with your grievances or hail my genius. Either way, let me know.
Much love and Aloha (I’m still going to that women’s weekend!),
the clueless wanderer
Magretha “Mo” Palepale: I was born in the Philippines and then relocated to Kodiak Island, Alaska in 1975. My husband was born and raised in Hawaii and we met in Anchorage, Alaska. In 2000, we left AK for the east coast and bought an 1890’s schoolhouse in PA. It’s a never-ending project because most our time and money goes to our outdoor vices and shenanigans.
You can follow Mo’s Clueless Wanderer adventures here:
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Yes, yes, and YES! I’m 42, a single mom of three and feel like I fit nowhere in the adventuring world unless I make it happen myself.
It seems the opinion is that our relevance fades as our body loses a bit (or a lot) of its youth. Targeting and highlighting the young and sleek is much more “palatable” than showing a 40-something that’s got more than a few scars from the battles of life.
However, I’d say those scars are what gives us our own brand of sexiness and moxie. Ferocity and determination to keep getting out just as you are…. those are the things we can call our in each other, even if the organizations and catalogs don’t ever see it. I love your voice on this and I think it’s fabulous you’re going to the retreat! Those young gals have much to learn from YOU! Enjoy and thanks for writing.
Hi Erika!
Thank you so much for reading! Mo has such an awesome attitude and does a great job of not caring about age but showing up to do what she loves! Age absolutely brings along sexiness and moxie – you go girl! Show those three kiddos what a powerful, badass mom they have! Happy trails, lovely! – Hatie
Hi, Erika!
Wow! Thank you for the feedback, it gave me chills! I love how strong your voice is about this. We are kindred spirits, you and I. 😉
As that friend that looks like Kristen Bell (????) it makes me sad and kind of angry that any women are feeling left out and or ignored in these posts and adventures! All women should feel welcomed and like they are just as badass and awesome as any other woman, regardless of age. Mo, I hope to be as awesome, badass, and brave as you are when I reach my 40s! YOU are making the change and advocating for all women to be in the outdoors with your blog, adventures, and your group Adventure Some Women. ????
Cheers, Teara!! I hope you both have a blast at the retreat and continue to advocate for getting women of all age outdoors! Happy trails – Hatie
Actually, what I have noticed is a noticeable GAP in ages of women interested in outdoor recreation, but I think it is probably natural. I see participation by two age groups: women in their early 20’s – many of whom are early in their careers or who don’t yet have children – who have plenty of time at their disposal; and women like me – 40, established in a career, with kids who are getting older and more independent – who want to fill any precious spare time with a fulfilling experience. I think we have a lot to learn from each other.
Hi Julie!
That is an interesting point! It can be a commitment to make sure you create time to get outside and to pass that down to kids one day. We definitely can learn from one another! Thanks for reading, Julie! Happy trails – Hatie
Fantastic I totally understand. As a larger woman and crazy hiker, paddler, and anything outdoors, I always would feel like I didn’t fit the “profile box”, When I would tell people about any of my fun adventurous activities they would look at me and say ‘really?’ Yes really! An example of some reactions I would get is, I used to do some of these activities with a much slimmer fitter ‘looking’ person (who I encouraged to try these things) and I remember at a function she introduced me to some people and they said ‘it’s so good that she (my friend) is encouraging you to do these activities! It will do me good! People sadly will look at someone and automatically presume that the person fits into a certain required box! I do get very frustrated at times and find sadly, a lot of magazines out there do not help by showing these beautiful ‘box fitting’ people. Now with my website I just hand them my card and they can see for themselves that yes I might not fit into that box, and I never will! So I made my own!
Hi Michelle! You are kicking ass! I am so sorry that someone thought you were being helped by a thin friend. What garbage. People truly underestimate the power and ability of all bodies. You have done far more outdoor activities than most people! Way to show ’em! Happy trails – Hatie
It is sad way Hatie that people think and It used to bother me. It doesn’t anymore as I know I can do anything I want to I just have to try and if I don’t succeed one way change direction and try another way. Now the only time I have go stuck trying to fit into a BOX or actually a cave was when my boobs got in the way and I was stuck. Funny now, scary then. Happy trails to all x
Oh man that cave bit made me laugh!! Darn boobs! When you’ve got the will you’ve got the way 🙂
I’m loving this thread- what joy it is to have women championing each other. Cheers to all!
And Mo and Hattie- thanks for the kind words. 🙂
Love all of this! I used to keep this to myself as I thought I was being oversensitive, but I see it’s a “real thing”.
I will be 60 this year and I have some mobility issues, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t enjoy hiking, camping and being out-of-doors. Unfortunately, my excursions are solo because I am out of every demographic ever catered to. It does my heart good to see you speaking up and refusing to back away from activities and gatherings just because you don’t match the pictures on the package. I’ll see you all on the trail!
Hi Jeri! I am so glad to hear you are following your passions outdoors regardless of mobility issues! That’s wonderful! Have you ever heard of the Women Who Hike Facebook groups? It’s a great way to find ladies in your area who want to get together to hike, camp and enjoy nature! We’re in the WWH Midwest group and there are always friendly gals looking to meet up and get after it! Thanks so much for reading! We’re glad Mo’s piece resonated with you! Happy trails – Hatie